We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
