i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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