what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
