She's JV to your varsity
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
