The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
