It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
