enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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