We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
