I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't trust your balls anymore.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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