you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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