Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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