Welp...herpes.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Randomize
