man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
