Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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