Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
