the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
