she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
