See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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