Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
