just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
only you would photoshop your dick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
