you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
