You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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