guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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