If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
