were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
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