belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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