Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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