Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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