David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
