just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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