I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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