so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
