so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
