Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize