i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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