The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
