Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Randomize
