omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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