Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
