Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
there is puke in my bra ... again
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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