Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize