did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Randomize
