wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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