Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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