Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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