All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
