yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
