If i come over, it means nothing
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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