um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
