i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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