it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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