I think I won the penis lottery.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
