I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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