I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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