oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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