in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize