If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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