and you said cock pushups were impossible
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
