Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
