don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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