i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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