Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
