I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Randomize