seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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