I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
