I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
