I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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