i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can you repeat that, but with context?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
