Apparently you make a good broom.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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