Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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