What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize
