I want to make a zoo with you.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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