im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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