i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
