Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
