After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
