I'm going to jail i love you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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