soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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