clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
