You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
